“The more one writes about identity, the more the word becomes a term for something that is as unfathomable as it is all-pervasive.” -Erik Erikson, coined the term “identity crisis”
Observable, yet transparent. Identity is a nebulous concept with so many knotted strings it’s hard to know where to start.
Identity and the incredible string band
My first piano teacher was a lovely lady named Mrs. Noland. She was firm and polite, actually quite a patient teacher with her rambunctious student. I was 4-5 when I started taking lessons from her. I learned to love music from her and from my home life. Music always filled the house from Lawrence Welk to George Jones and Elvis to the Beatles. Both parents had favorites and neither minded the other’s favorites. Lucky me.
At the ripe old age of 5, I declared that Mrs. Nobody (aghast I was a little snot) had nothing more to teach me. All this fingering of scales wasn’t music and all seemed so unreasonably difficult for me. As the clueless child, I mean student, that I was, I fired her. To my mother’s shame. Yes, oh yes, I did.
It’s eye-opening to realize you didn’t know what you didn’t know. I never really learned music theory. Of course I learned the basics in some 4th grade recorder class, and I could sight read music, I don’t recall anyone explaining WHY we were doing scales. Or much of any music theory in general. I grew up, still loving all genres of music but my musical ability lost it’s way…yet was always poking at me to come back and play.
Music has always been a part of my identity.
Genealogy and family; the what and the why
Genealogy is all about data: the what. The genetic dna data, precisely, that will determine the ancestors and descendants of an individual within a family. Without this data, we wouldn’t know how to do deeper digging into the family’s history. Why did grandma move to the US? Was my great-great Grandmother a hat maker?
Family is the why.
I won’t dare define family or send you to dictionary.com. Family is loose. It has legs and lots of room to breath. It is yellow and green. A family can nest or be spread around. It can have similar views, tastes and features or be polarized. Some families have long histories, up and downs, love and hate, simple words or dissertations, while other families are empty and still and minor. It’s a bond of love and commitment. Family is as individual as an individual.
Why do we use the tree to symbolize genealogy?
The Family Tree has always tried to capture the family lineage from a certain point in time and with the oldest ‘memorable’ persons…meaning there is a memory of that person with someone. It also tries to encapsulate everyone in the family trapped in a moment as an individual and also as a child. A simple tree of roots, trunk, branches and leaves.
Time. Succession. Irreversible. Time from when. The reference point of when to start tracking.
Let’s just pick me. As you know, this is my journaling. So, me…right now. My perspective and I am the reference point.
But if we are placing this with some visual variables to demonstrate time on a page…then this?
We have a lot of ground to cover. I’m not one to actually brag or anything, but this isn’t gonna cut the cheese for me. I’m way to grey matter for a TREE to try and visually represent my family. Let’s just start from the beginning, or the beginning from my perspective. So…
It looks like my family “tree” is more like a banyan tree. I am no different; yet, I am.
We all have family roots that we are [literally] a piece of and we will never know them and perhaps, never even know about.
Notes, Chords, Harmony, Melody and Rhythm
‘The unexamined life is not worth living’ - Socrates
Here’s the gist with a musicality spin.
Facts are facts. These are verifiable. I have the DNA of two people; two different people raised me. Those are just facts. We all have a list of facts a mile wide. At the personal level, it’s the part of reality that we have no control over. Where you were born, whom you were born to, etc. This is just one small lane of facts. These are my notes and chords.
Acts are our behavior. Behavior driving our thoughts. This can actually be pinpointed to how we were raised…nothing genetically. Kinda. The first time I met my birth-father and watched him “talk with his hands” like he was landing an airplane - uh, there was little doubt I didn’t learn this from my ultra-quiet dad and humble mom. Nor did I learn extra snark. So my acts (behavior) is a mix. Melody is often the most satisfying and memorable part of the song. This is my melody.
Thoughts are the inner playground that creates ‘culture’. It’s how we translate ideas, beliefs, values and convictions. Thoughts typically express itself: art, religion, politics…love. I like to think I am a creative. At least I have a vast interest in the creative expression and dip in and out - alot. My beliefs and values came directly from my upbringing…my creativity and constant desire to think outside the lines did not. Melody transforms into harmony when completely different notes are stacked above or below it and are played at the same time. I married my value system with my creative system creating my harmony.
Surrounding facts, acts, and thoughts is existence. Identity. YOU. Wholeness. This is the collection of my rhythm, tempo, and gathering of instruments.
Then we have the sandbox. This is the search for truth. A place for play and discovery. It’s the best part. You get to take your notes and create your own tempo, texture, genre, form, and instrumentation. The complex orchestration of my song.
Why even look into your roots since family is family?
While it’s true we can create (and do create) who our family is regardless of genetic ties. The connection and love is there or it isn’t. However, there are other reasons people, including myself, want to understand the genealogy or roots, of a genetic family. When you grow up making up a heritage, because you really have no clue, you romanticize and live in a make-believe world. At least there is this small part of you that lives in this make believe world where you pretend you are Native American, or Icelandic, or why not German. Even as an adult when you have to fill out the Dr questionnaire and it questions family history or culture. Unknown was my answer.
When I received a letter from the state of CA, denying my request to open my adoption papers [yes they were sealed and unbreakable at that time], the only thing the letter told me was I had English and Portuguese descent. I swear to God, I ran up and down my Livermore hallway, crying, elated, waving the paper and shouting I’m Portuguese. I am 99% sure I even ran across the court to my neighbor letting her know as well.
I can think of other reasons to look into your genetic roots.
learn about family contributions to society
better understand oneself and one’s family, both socially and biologically
pass on knowledge that could otherwise be lost in meta
keep oneself and others “alive” forever, at least in memory
fulfill an obligation to one’s family
demonstrate love
honor ancestors
connect with family, both dead and alive
develop a cultural identity that may have been lost
tell a story
place oneself and one’s family in the big picture of life
My Ever Evolving Song
You can subscribe FREE to get new thoughts, rhetoric, contradictions, linear relationship rant between two or more variables… and love. Thus far about every two weeks considering the wave of time they take me to write and try to edit. Remember: Only so many marbles left…
BTW
Did you know? John Adams believed that July 2nd was the correct date on which to celebrate the birth of American independence? He would even turn down invitations to appear at July 4th events in protest. AND this crazy tidbit: Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826—the 50th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. I’m currently reading These Truths by Jill Lapore and, just, wow.
History.com “On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of Lee’s resolution for independence in a near-unanimous vote (the New York delegation abstained, but later voted affirmatively). On that day, John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail that July 2 “will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival” and that the celebration should include “Pomp and Parade…Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other.”
So pomp and parade to all. Have a safe 4th of July weekend.
Lisa--- I read this voraciously. Your writing is so beautiful. I remember hearing you were adopted in middle school....and was fascinated and curious...but of course would never ask you. 💗 I don't think I've ever known of someone adopted personally ( back in school) and found it interesting...and scary..and anything else you can imagine. I wondered what that must be like...( I believe Lori told me the information)
Loved hearing about your music because I didn't know much, except you could play piano ! Campfire girl retreat, tapping out LOVE STORY. I am probably sounding like I am gushing...because I will gush! I can't help it, so please forgive me.
My son can not get enough of our family lineage. He texts me with things he discovers and documents he finds about a great great grandfather who got arrested or joined the military at 14 with phony paperwork...lol...some of this I'm not sure I need to know! Lol. So, I just loved how you wove everything together. I love getting to know you here. 💙